and here...
19 March, 2011
28 February, 2011
The Scottish Play
Netflix recommends I watch Macbeth because I liked Psycho, "Arrested Development: Season 1" and Billy Elliot.
Similarly, it is recommending a nature documentary about wolverines.
Either that logic doesn't really make sense, or Netflix is operating on a deeper level than I.
Similarly, it is recommending a nature documentary about wolverines.
Either that logic doesn't really make sense, or Netflix is operating on a deeper level than I.
22 February, 2011
On a Monday.
Open with me going out to my car 20 minutes early to scrape the post-blizzard ice and snow.
20 minutes later I call my boss and say "Ummm, so I've been scraping at my car for about 20 minutes and I still have a ways to go..."
Arrive at work in a bit of a tizzy because I'm half an hour late (those of you who know me know how I am about being punctual) and am scheduled to be in School Age instead of Infants. I am disappointed, because I have very little authority with the over 4 crowd.
Here's the climax of Monday. I may have almost gotten into a physical altercation with a coworker.
And by may have, I mean I'm still a little scared she's going to try to stab me in the parking lot.
It goes like this.
RB: (walks in a loop-de-loop instead of a straight line)
MISS K: Hey! You stop that! You come stand right here! What did you do that for? You ain't supposed to do that!
RB: (stands, looking bewildered)
MISS K: You gonna stand there until you tell me why you did that. You don't get no lunch until you tell me what you were doing over there. You was just supposed to wash your hands and sit down! Why did you go over there?
RB: (starts to cry)
MISS K: Don't you cry! You ain't no baby! You better wipe those tears off your face! Now you got a choice. You tell me why you did that or you stand there and you don't get no lunch.
ME: (kneeling beside RB) Can you tell Miss K why you went over that way?
RB: (cries more)
ME: It's OK, honey. Can you tell me?
RB: (cries more, and harder)
MISS K: You need to leave her alone. Get out of there, Lizabeth. For real, you need to get away from her.
ME: OK, RB. Come sit down.
MISS K: You don't do that! She needs to stand there and tell me what she went over there for!
ME: Miss K, you're not her teacher. We can't not give her lunch.
MISS K: (while getting "all up in my space") You don't tell me the rules! I know the rules here! You don't tell me the rules! I don't kiss no one's butt here! I don't kiss no one's butt! Now you got a choice. You leave her alone!
OTHER TEACHERS: (stare at me with wide, frightened eyes)
ME: Eat your lunch, RB.
MISS K: (storms off to tell boss)
Resolution: Called into bosses' office, asked for my version of the story. Boss says "That's what I figured. You didn't do anything wrong, I just wanted to hear your side. Thank you."
So, that was that. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing freeze tag and dancing to "Toxic". Cut to 6:30, where I am rushing like mad to get all my rooms vacuumed and mopped and cleaned and de-garbaged so I can zoom home and check my email to find out if we're a go for play rehearsal at 7:30. We are. I have just enough time to change out of my nasty work clothes and "zoom" to the rehearsal on the nasty, slippery roads. I park and run/slip'n'slide the block and half to the theatre to make it up there on time, which, as it turns out, I didn't need to do, because then my scene partner was half an hour late. Half an hour. Just like me, in the morning. Karma's a bitch.
I spent my time in the empty classroom setting up our scene, reviewing my lines, and taking photos out the yellow-tinted windows.
And then: A rehearsal that ended with me feeling like such a suck bag. I was super unfocused and super crap.
Oof.
Went home. Couldn't sleep. Finally slept at 2:00. Woke up at 4:45. Thought sarcastically to myself Oh, good. Tuesday will be much better.
20 minutes later I call my boss and say "Ummm, so I've been scraping at my car for about 20 minutes and I still have a ways to go..."
Arrive at work in a bit of a tizzy because I'm half an hour late (those of you who know me know how I am about being punctual) and am scheduled to be in School Age instead of Infants. I am disappointed, because I have very little authority with the over 4 crowd.
Here's the climax of Monday. I may have almost gotten into a physical altercation with a coworker.
And by may have, I mean I'm still a little scared she's going to try to stab me in the parking lot.
It goes like this.
RB: (walks in a loop-de-loop instead of a straight line)
MISS K: Hey! You stop that! You come stand right here! What did you do that for? You ain't supposed to do that!
RB: (stands, looking bewildered)
MISS K: You gonna stand there until you tell me why you did that. You don't get no lunch until you tell me what you were doing over there. You was just supposed to wash your hands and sit down! Why did you go over there?
RB: (starts to cry)
MISS K: Don't you cry! You ain't no baby! You better wipe those tears off your face! Now you got a choice. You tell me why you did that or you stand there and you don't get no lunch.
ME: (kneeling beside RB) Can you tell Miss K why you went over that way?
RB: (cries more)
ME: It's OK, honey. Can you tell me?
RB: (cries more, and harder)
MISS K: You need to leave her alone. Get out of there, Lizabeth. For real, you need to get away from her.
ME: OK, RB. Come sit down.
MISS K: You don't do that! She needs to stand there and tell me what she went over there for!
ME: Miss K, you're not her teacher. We can't not give her lunch.
MISS K: (while getting "all up in my space") You don't tell me the rules! I know the rules here! You don't tell me the rules! I don't kiss no one's butt here! I don't kiss no one's butt! Now you got a choice. You leave her alone!
OTHER TEACHERS: (stare at me with wide, frightened eyes)
ME: Eat your lunch, RB.
MISS K: (storms off to tell boss)
Resolution: Called into bosses' office, asked for my version of the story. Boss says "That's what I figured. You didn't do anything wrong, I just wanted to hear your side. Thank you."
So, that was that. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing freeze tag and dancing to "Toxic". Cut to 6:30, where I am rushing like mad to get all my rooms vacuumed and mopped and cleaned and de-garbaged so I can zoom home and check my email to find out if we're a go for play rehearsal at 7:30. We are. I have just enough time to change out of my nasty work clothes and "zoom" to the rehearsal on the nasty, slippery roads. I park and run/slip'n'slide the block and half to the theatre to make it up there on time, which, as it turns out, I didn't need to do, because then my scene partner was half an hour late. Half an hour. Just like me, in the morning. Karma's a bitch.
I spent my time in the empty classroom setting up our scene, reviewing my lines, and taking photos out the yellow-tinted windows.
And then: A rehearsal that ended with me feeling like such a suck bag. I was super unfocused and super crap.
Oof.
Went home. Couldn't sleep. Finally slept at 2:00. Woke up at 4:45. Thought sarcastically to myself Oh, good. Tuesday will be much better.
19 February, 2011
Farewell, Itsy-Bitsy
I'm sitting at the computer, minding my own business when in my peripheral vision I see a...something...rocket across my wall. It was a spider. A big, ol' nasty spider.
I have had issues with arachnids ever since I read that urban legend saying that a person, while sleeping, eats an average of eight spiders per year. In a half-hearted attempt to cure my irrational fear, I grabbed my camera and used a pencil to chase the thing into better light and snap a couple of photos.
I'm not proud of what happened next.
I have had issues with arachnids ever since I read that urban legend saying that a person, while sleeping, eats an average of eight spiders per year. In a half-hearted attempt to cure my irrational fear, I grabbed my camera and used a pencil to chase the thing into better light and snap a couple of photos.
I'm not proud of what happened next.
16 February, 2011
A little spring in my step...
Valentine's Day flowers add such a lot of much needed spring time cheer to my apartment.
Accompanied by temperatures above 30, the third week of February was a winner in many ways. A loser in others, but we'll save that for another day. For now, we'll just soak up the beauty of fresh flowers.
I know carnations are like the cheapest flowers ever, but come on. So pretty.
Different daisies:
Accompanied by temperatures above 30, the third week of February was a winner in many ways. A loser in others, but we'll save that for another day. For now, we'll just soak up the beauty of fresh flowers.
I know carnations are like the cheapest flowers ever, but come on. So pretty.
Different daisies:
21 January, 2011
Welcome to Minnesota.
It was a big week, folks. A very big week.
There are two new additions in my family, Yenenesh and Melese. I met them tonight at the airport. We have known about their continued existence in Ethiopia for months and months, but now, having seen their sweet little faces in person, I finally believe that they are real actual people.
The craziness started at about 5:30 PM last Friday, the 14th. That was when my sister left me a...strained...sounding voice mail saying that she and her husband were supposed to be at the embassy in Addis Ababa on Tuesday, the 18th to get their new kids' visas and could they stay at my place tonight and could I give them a ride to the airport in the morning. I said OK, and they got to my place at 2:30 AM. Because my sister and I don't sleep, we stayed up for the rest of the night repacking and weighing suitcases on my Wii Fit board. On a side note, the Wii is concerned that the suitcases are all terribly underweight.
Cut to today, Friday, January 21, when I rush out of work 20 minutes later than I'm supposed to and zoom, as fast as one can during rush hour, to the airport. I gather four winter coats, the two little ones with the tags still on, and speed walk down Level One, Row E of the parking ramp to the terminal. Three escalators, one dropped mitten, and two wrong turns later, there they were.
Welcome to the family. We'll try not to fuck it up too much.
There are two new additions in my family, Yenenesh and Melese. I met them tonight at the airport. We have known about their continued existence in Ethiopia for months and months, but now, having seen their sweet little faces in person, I finally believe that they are real actual people.
The craziness started at about 5:30 PM last Friday, the 14th. That was when my sister left me a...strained...sounding voice mail saying that she and her husband were supposed to be at the embassy in Addis Ababa on Tuesday, the 18th to get their new kids' visas and could they stay at my place tonight and could I give them a ride to the airport in the morning. I said OK, and they got to my place at 2:30 AM. Because my sister and I don't sleep, we stayed up for the rest of the night repacking and weighing suitcases on my Wii Fit board. On a side note, the Wii is concerned that the suitcases are all terribly underweight.
Cut to today, Friday, January 21, when I rush out of work 20 minutes later than I'm supposed to and zoom, as fast as one can during rush hour, to the airport. I gather four winter coats, the two little ones with the tags still on, and speed walk down Level One, Row E of the parking ramp to the terminal. Three escalators, one dropped mitten, and two wrong turns later, there they were.
Welcome to the family. We'll try not to fuck it up too much.
26 December, 2010
It's sentimental, I know...
I find that frequently, and especially around holidays, words fail me.
But there's this song, by an Aussie musician and comedian named Tim Minchin, that so very perfectly sums up everything I feel about this time of year.
So here's what Tim Minchin has to say about Christmas:
I really like Christmas
It's sentimental, I know, but I just really like it
I am hardly religious
I'd rather break bread with Dawkins than Desmond Tutu, to be honest
And yes, I have all of the usual objections
To consumerism, he commercialization of an ancient religion
To the westernization of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer
But I still really like it
I'm looking forward to Christmas
Though I'm not expecting a visit from Jesus
I'll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They'll be drinking white wine in the sun
I'll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They'll be drinking white wine in the sun
I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cos ideas are tenacious it means they are worthy
I get freaked out by churches
Some of the hymns that they sing have nice chords but the lyrics are spooky
And yes I have all of the usual objections
To the miseducation of children who, in tax-exempt institutions,
Are taught to externalize blame
And to feel ashamed and to judge things as plain right and wrong
But I quite like the songs
I'm not expecting big presents
The old combination of socks, jocks and chocolate is just fine by me
Cos I'll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They'll be drinking white wine in the sun
I'll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They'll be drinking white wine in the sun
And you, my baby girl
My jetlagged infant daughter
You'll be handed round the room
Like a puppy at a primary school
And you won't understand
But you will learn someday
That wherever you are and whatever you face
These are the people who'll make you feel safe in this world
My sweet blue-eyed girl
And if, my baby girl
When you're twenty-one or thirty-one
And Christmas comes around
And you find yourself nine thousand miles from home
You'll know what ever comes
Your brother and sisters and me and your Mum
Will be waiting for you in the sun
Whenever you come
Your brothers and sisters, your aunts and your uncles
Your grandparents, cousins and me and your mum
We'll be waiting for you in the sun
Drinking white wine in the sun
Darling, when Christmas comes
We'll be waiting for you in the sun
Drinking white wine in the sun
Waiting for you in the sun
Waiting for you...
Waiting...
I really like Christmas
It's sentimental, I know...
13 December, 2010
O Christmas Lamp O Christmas Lamp
Christmas shopping. You have evaded me this year. Usually I am inspired and done with the shopping well before Thanksgiving, but due to the unemploymentness of this year, well, I've just started. And no freaking wonder I've always done it early. This is incredibly stressful! Also, this year is different in that I have absolutely no idea what to get anyone. Usually I'm pretty good at gift giving. Oh, sigh.
Still, the Christmas spirit is seeping into my life, slowly, but surely. I decorated on Saturday, during snowmageddon, while watching the SyFy original Yeti.
My decor is perhaps a little unconventional this year. Last year, I skipped it all together, but this year Trader Joe's was selling tiny living trees so I went for it.
Because my tree is all of seven inches tall, I found...other places...for ornaments.
What is also giving me holiday cheer is the fact that I've chosen my gift wrap for the year, and Sunday I wrapped the two presents that I've actually gotten, and let me tell you, they look gorgeous. But, in the words of Levar Burton, you don't have to take my word for it.
One of my favorite things about Christmas is choosing wrapping paper. The pleasure that nicely wrapped gifts give me is possibly greater than the pleasure that the gifts themselves give. So, even if I give shit gifts this year, they will be presented beautifully. Look on the bright side, right?
Still, the Christmas spirit is seeping into my life, slowly, but surely. I decorated on Saturday, during snowmageddon, while watching the SyFy original Yeti.
My decor is perhaps a little unconventional this year. Last year, I skipped it all together, but this year Trader Joe's was selling tiny living trees so I went for it.
Because my tree is all of seven inches tall, I found...other places...for ornaments.
What is also giving me holiday cheer is the fact that I've chosen my gift wrap for the year, and Sunday I wrapped the two presents that I've actually gotten, and let me tell you, they look gorgeous. But, in the words of Levar Burton, you don't have to take my word for it.
One of my favorite things about Christmas is choosing wrapping paper. The pleasure that nicely wrapped gifts give me is possibly greater than the pleasure that the gifts themselves give. So, even if I give shit gifts this year, they will be presented beautifully. Look on the bright side, right?
12 December, 2010
Today
Fucking hell, I hate dealing with snow, "dealing with" being the operative phrase. I like snow when it when it is not on my car and sidewalk. I enjoy building snowmen and having snowball fights and wearing my jammies while gazing out at a winter wonderland. But when I have to do something about it? Screw that. Today I am faced with the daunting task of digging out my car without a shovel after a snow fall of 17 inches. I am procrastinating and reading the paper. I just saw a headline in the Star Tribune that said "Report: 2 people die in Minneapolis fire" and my immediate reaction was envy. "I wish I could die in a fire," I muttered crankily, as I turned and glared at the mixing bowl I am going to have to use for my snow removal. Yes, I am a occasionally a little melodramatic. What's it to you?
Today, I am feeding the bad wolf.
05 December, 2010
Skol
In an unlikely turn of events, I spent last Sunday afternoon at the Vikings vs. Bills game. It was to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday, and because I like spending time with my family, when they invited me, I accepted. I impressed myself with my team spirit because I coincidentally brought a purple purse. I am not really a football fan, or a fan of any kind of sport, but it is difficult not to get caught up in the excitement at a professional sporting event. Especially because on the Vikings team is the only football player I've heard of.
Until recently anyway. Ask me now and I can rattle off four or five...But anyway, poor old Number 4 was out of the game by the third play.
As the team prepared to emerge from their battle-ready inflatable ship, I was struck by the historical inaccuracies. I wouldn't sail that puppy across a koi pond, let alone the North Atlantic. Also, the horned helmets? Really guys?
Mascot or crazy, time-traveling homeless guy?
Henderson really popped the booty for this shot, didn't he?
Post-game man hugs!
I may gently mock, but I did have a really good time. I learned a few rules of the game, sang a fight song, and if nothing else, a football game is a terrific place for people watching. And if I'm really being honest, it was nice, in the sea of purple, to feel like I fit in.
Until recently anyway. Ask me now and I can rattle off four or five...But anyway, poor old Number 4 was out of the game by the third play.
As the team prepared to emerge from their battle-ready inflatable ship, I was struck by the historical inaccuracies. I wouldn't sail that puppy across a koi pond, let alone the North Atlantic. Also, the horned helmets? Really guys?
Mascot or crazy, time-traveling homeless guy?
Henderson really popped the booty for this shot, didn't he?
Post-game man hugs!
I may gently mock, but I did have a really good time. I learned a few rules of the game, sang a fight song, and if nothing else, a football game is a terrific place for people watching. And if I'm really being honest, it was nice, in the sea of purple, to feel like I fit in.
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