Eastering

As an atheist, celebrating holidays like Easter is always interesting. Jesus was a great dude, but I reject the idea that he rose from the grave. On the other hand, I do gratefully accept the time off I get in appreciation of this feat, however imaginary I believe it to be. Thus, I present to you, Easter at the Olson Ranch.





We decorated cookies liberally with sprinkles. I like to call it "process art".





The end result was met with approval.







Egg dyeing was met with skepticism.





But again, the end result was met with approval.







The next day, we searched the yard for our beautifully dyed eggs that some bastard rabbit hid.









We found them all, and were richly rewarded.



After a fine meal,



Cricket was also rewarded. For not biting anyone hard enough to draw blood.



And please don't try to take her ham bone. She'll get you.

Stormy Weather

Early Sunday morning brought with it stormy weather. You know. That kind of ominous, oppressive air that serves as a harbinger of hard rain and a tornado watch.



But lo and behold, the storm clouds cleared and nary a drop of rain fell.

Baby Face

This is Eleanore.



She joined our family via my brother and sister-in-law on March 27.



Hello, Eleanore.

One Year

I have never liked April Fools' Day.

I am incredibly gullible and easily embarrassed. This combination does not serve a person well, especially in his or her most formative years. My dislike was reinforced one year ago today. One year ago today was the worst day of my life so far.

One year ago today, I lost a job I loved, I lost a friend that I loved and I lost seven little souls that I loved.

That I loved, and that I promised to take care of. Whose boo-boos I kissed, who I played hopscotch with, who I made lunch for every day, whose diapers I changed. Who I sometimes still ache for when I remember how they felt in my arms when I rocked them to sleep.

I debated about whether or not to mark the occasion in any way, let alone publish a blog post for all (four of you) to see. The one year mark doesn't feel as significant as I thought it would. And I think that's a good thing.

Has anything good come of this? Perhaps. I don't know that I am better off than I was, but I'm certainly not worse off. They say (I don't know who "they" are) that after a relationship ends, it takes half the time of the length of the relationship to get over it. Am I over it? I don't think so. I won't presume to say that I loved (love) those kids as though they were my own, but I did (do) truly love them, and strongly. Strongly enough so that I don't think the phrase "over it" will ever apply.

But anyway. One year. What a year.

Tropical Sunday

here...





and here...

The Scottish Play

Netflix recommends I watch Macbeth because I liked Psycho, "Arrested Development: Season 1" and Billy Elliot.

Similarly, it is recommending a nature documentary about wolverines.



Either that logic doesn't really make sense, or Netflix is operating on a deeper level than I.

On a Monday.

Open with me going out to my car 20 minutes early to scrape the post-blizzard ice and snow.



20 minutes later I call my boss and say "Ummm, so I've been scraping at my car for about 20 minutes and I still have a ways to go..."



Arrive at work in a bit of a tizzy because I'm half an hour late (those of you who know me know how I am about being punctual) and am scheduled to be in School Age instead of Infants. I am disappointed, because I have very little authority with the over 4 crowd.

Here's the climax of Monday. I may have almost gotten into a physical altercation with a coworker.

And by may have, I mean I'm still a little scared she's going to try to stab me in the parking lot.

It goes like this.

RB: (walks in a loop-de-loop instead of a straight line)
MISS K: Hey! You stop that! You come stand right here! What did you do that for? You ain't supposed to do that!
RB: (stands, looking bewildered)
MISS K: You gonna stand there until you tell me why you did that. You don't get no lunch until you tell me what you were doing over there. You was just supposed to wash your hands and sit down! Why did you go over there?
RB: (starts to cry)
MISS K: Don't you cry! You ain't no baby! You better wipe those tears off your face! Now you got a choice. You tell me why you did that or you stand there and you don't get no lunch.
ME: (kneeling beside RB) Can you tell Miss K why you went over that way?
RB: (cries more)
ME: It's OK, honey. Can you tell me?
RB: (cries more, and harder)
MISS K: You need to leave her alone. Get out of there, Lizabeth. For real, you need to get away from her.
ME: OK, RB. Come sit down.
MISS K: You don't do that! She needs to stand there and tell me what she went over there for!
ME: Miss K, you're not her teacher. We can't not give her lunch.
MISS K: (while getting "all up in my space") You don't tell me the rules! I know the rules here! You don't tell me the rules! I don't kiss no one's butt here! I don't kiss no one's butt! Now you got a choice. You leave her alone!
OTHER TEACHERS: (stare at me with wide, frightened eyes)
ME: Eat your lunch, RB.
MISS K: (storms off to tell boss)

Resolution: Called into bosses' office, asked for my version of the story. Boss says "That's what I figured. You didn't do anything wrong, I just wanted to hear your side. Thank you."

So, that was that. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing freeze tag and dancing to "Toxic". Cut to 6:30, where I am rushing like mad to get all my rooms vacuumed and mopped and cleaned and de-garbaged so I can zoom home and check my email to find out if we're a go for play rehearsal at 7:30. We are. I have just enough time to change out of my nasty work clothes and "zoom" to the rehearsal on the nasty, slippery roads. I park and run/slip'n'slide the block and half to the theatre to make it up there on time, which, as it turns out, I didn't need to do, because then my scene partner was half an hour late. Half an hour. Just like me, in the morning. Karma's a bitch.



I spent my time in the empty classroom setting up our scene, reviewing my lines, and taking photos out the yellow-tinted windows.





And then: A rehearsal that ended with me feeling like such a suck bag. I was super unfocused and super crap.

Oof.

Went home. Couldn't sleep. Finally slept at 2:00. Woke up at 4:45. Thought sarcastically to myself Oh, good. Tuesday will be much better.

Farewell, Itsy-Bitsy

I'm sitting at the computer, minding my own business when in my peripheral vision I see a...something...rocket across my wall. It was a spider. A big, ol' nasty spider.



I have had issues with arachnids ever since I read that urban legend saying that a person, while sleeping, eats an average of eight spiders per year. In a half-hearted attempt to cure my irrational fear, I grabbed my camera and used a pencil to chase the thing into better light and snap a couple of photos.

I'm not proud of what happened next.

A little spring in my step...

Valentine's Day flowers add such a lot of much needed spring time cheer to my apartment.



Accompanied by temperatures above 30, the third week of February was a winner in many ways. A loser in others, but we'll save that for another day. For now, we'll just soak up the beauty of fresh flowers.





I know carnations are like the cheapest flowers ever, but come on. So pretty.



Different daisies:

Welcome to Minnesota.

It was a big week, folks. A very big week.

There are two new additions in my family, Yenenesh and Melese. I met them tonight at the airport. We have known about their continued existence in Ethiopia for months and months, but now, having seen their sweet little faces in person, I finally believe that they are real actual people.

The craziness started at about 5:30 PM last Friday, the 14th. That was when my sister left me a...strained...sounding voice mail saying that she and her husband were supposed to be at the embassy in Addis Ababa on Tuesday, the 18th to get their new kids' visas and could they stay at my place tonight and could I give them a ride to the airport in the morning. I said OK, and they got to my place at 2:30 AM. Because my sister and I don't sleep, we stayed up for the rest of the night repacking and weighing suitcases on my Wii Fit board. On a side note, the Wii is concerned that the suitcases are all terribly underweight.

Cut to today, Friday, January 21, when I rush out of work 20 minutes later than I'm supposed to and zoom, as fast as one can during rush hour, to the airport. I gather four winter coats, the two little ones with the tags still on, and speed walk down Level One, Row E of the parking ramp to the terminal. Three escalators, one dropped mitten, and two wrong turns later, there they were.





Welcome to the family. We'll try not to fuck it up too much.