Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
-Mary Oliver

02 September, 2010


I know that I've only had this job for about two weeks. I know that a lot of people don't have jobs. And I know that I am lucky to have one that is, albeit slightly, related to something that I enjoy doing. But, nonetheless...this job sucks. I thought about not going public with this fact, lest I seem like an irritating little bitch-face, but in the interest of keeping this journal that is about me and my life and my thoughts, well, about those things, I'm doing it anyway. I don't want to pretend that I am excited anymore, because I'm just not. It's not that I'm ungrateful. It's that, apparently, I'm demanding, have high expectations of and am exceptionally picky about my job and the people with whom I work.

So, the novelty of being employed has worn off very quickly. It's not that I don't like or am resistant to work (by work I mean putting effort into things), it's just that I don't want to work at selling people shitty little picture frames and key chains. I would love to work at getting a beautiful photo of their kids or family that they can hang in their home. I would love to work at helping them design a baby book. But the "sell, sell, sell" mentality of retail is ridiculous. I have little tolerance for the corporate mentality. Especially when the corporation does really silly things. Like not telling us our schedules for the next week until the Thursday before. How is anyone supposed to plan anything? And putting their training course online, so that for the first 40 hours of work, all you do is sit on an uncomfortable stool and stare at things like this:

I knew going in that this was a retail job, but I was hoping there would be something greater at its core. I don't think there is. And, well...shit. Still, a shit job is better than no job. For now.

Am I the only jerk that feels like this within a week (OK, really within about seven minutes) of starting a new job? I wonder, does the shine wear off that quickly for others?


Anonymous said...

So sorry, Elz. You, of all people, shouldn't have your creative side stifled.

Ophelia thinks hard said...

For inspiration